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Horror Movie for Christians
I just thought of a great horror movie for jesus freak fundies. It will be called “Teh GAY” about gay zombies spreading their plague throughout all of Christendom. Oh no!
It will begin with an innocent, straight man entering a public bathroom where he is found and bitten on his weenums by a zombie in the next stall after he alerts the zombie of his presence when his foot slips on the tile and accidentally brushes against the zombie’s foot. The gay plague soon spreads to the point where even churches aren’t immune.
But there is one man who can stop it! He’s Jesus, the kick ass white guy who rides from town to town on his Harley to preach the good word and reverse the effects of the plague, dressed as Jesus Christ except more kick ass - with bullets strapped across his chest and stuff. He eventually gathers a posse, made up mainly of the dregs whose rough lives helped them to survive, to help him fight.
The zombies are too strong though. Eventually, after hints of hope, Jesus (pronounced Hay-Zeus) loses the battle and the movie ends with him joining a flamboyant street parade with the rest of the gay zombies.
I bet Christians would pay top dollar to see that on Halloween. They could even incorporate it into their Hell Houses.